


Foot Long King Kong Dong

by Leximander



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Also ass holes, Foot long king kong dong, I tried to use as many names for penis as i could, M/M, Marinade, Smut, Warning Hannibal is a cannibal so..., this is total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5913370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leximander/pseuds/Leximander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal's having a VIP guest over for dinner, though the main goal is dessert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foot Long King Kong Dong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HapticLacuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HapticLacuna/gifts).



> So I'm not in the Hannibal fandom but a friend of mine is and occasionally I write her the worst things I can imagine. Unedited and written on my phone so there will be grammar and spelling mistakes galore. Also probably totally ooc but it's crack, read it and have a laugh. C: enjoy~

Hannibal prepared dinner almost dancing around the kitchen. He had a VIP guest coming over for dinner. In case you don't know, which you probably don't cause you're not as cultured as Hannibal and you don't eat people, VIP means 'very important person'. 

Speak of the devil and they shall appear. Though this guest isn't devilish, he's more like veal. Really fucking delicious. Hannibal especially appreciated this guest because he has, y'know, a baloney pony AKA, a flesh flute.

Hannibal swooshed open the door with a flourish and there stood his bedraggled guest, looking as though he went and jumped into a lake. 

"What's happened to you Will?!" Hannibal exclaimed dramatically. Cause let's face it, hes a total drama queen.  
Will gave Hannibal, what Hannibal had dubbed as, Will's cranky face and said,

"I almost got run over by a truck and then I fell in a puddle."

Hannibal swooshed Will inside and was ushering him up the stairs to change when a thought occurred to him. He checked the clock on the wall and smirked, he could have his desert before the main course as they had an hour before dinner would be ready.  
He could finally show Will his foot long king Kong dong. Will will be so excited, Hannibal thought.

Hannibal quickly divested Will of his clothes and just stopped to admire him, noticing the cute blush that spread across his cheeks and his delicious looking pec-

"Are you going to get me some clothes or are you going to stare at me like you want to eat me?" Will interrupted Hannibal's thought.

Oh right, Hannibal thought, I didn't exactly explain myself to Will. He is simple I can't expect him to know how his superior thinks. 

"Well, Will" Hannibal drawled, "I really would like to eat you, if, of course, you know what I mean" he added with a leer.  
Will looked at him blankly, so Hannibal assumed that he didn't understand or he didn't want to be eaten tonight so he said,  
"I'd also like to feed you, uhem, Otis deepthroatis, if you're willing"

Wills blush deepened and he also looked mildly offended by the fact that Hannibal thought he didn't get the innuendo,  
"You know you're supposed to take me to dinner first" Will muttered.

Hannibal waved his hand as if you dismiss the thought.  
"Dinners in the oven, I figured we could have dessert first and be productive with our time." Hannibal said.

"You really aren't very suave when it comes to propositioning someone." Will mused.

"All you're doing is wasting the time in which we could do more interesting activities. You could be getting acquainted with my tonsil tickler"

Will just stared at Hannibal for a moment before shrugging and saying.  
"I can't do anything if you're wearing all those clothes y'know."

Hannibal pulled the front of the suit and everything tore away. He was wearing one of those suits that just come off when you pull. He stood there not wearing underwear, but he still had his socks on. They were knee high hello kitty socks. His python of love already standing at attention waiting to be petted. 

Will stared at the impressive length of it and his mouth started to water. He was suddenly famished and desperately wanted to try Hannibal's tan banana.

Hannibal as if reading his mind asked "Would you like to get a closer look at 'Vlad the impaler'?"  
Will nodded vigorously, dropped to his knees and took Hannibal's tube steak into his mouth.  
Hannibal moaned obscenely, feeling Wills puckered fish lips close around his heat seeking missile. Will bobbed his head, pulling up and tonguing the slit before sliding his tongue along the sensitive underside of Hannibal's weapon of ass destruction. After trying Hannibal's man meat, Will knew he could never be a vegetarian. 

Hannibal growled, suddenly impatient. He wanted to taste Will's ring of fire. Hannibal pulled Will up and pushed him onto the bed grabbing the marinade he'd placed on the side table just for this purpose.

He took the marinade and forced Wills legs up and apart, before popping the cap and drizzling his squinty eye with the marinade.  
Will shivered at the cold sensation and whimpered. 

"Hannibal pleaseeee"

Hannibal gave Will one last look before sliding his finger into Will's fart funnel while taking his sergeant stiffy into his mouth. Will groaned. Hannibal continued to suck Will's trouser snake while prepping him to take his foot long king Kong dong.

Will moaned and gasped out "Hannibal im ready, I need you to impale me with your salami"

Will didn't need to say anything else.  
Hannibal shoved his 100% all beef thermometer into Will's quivering, fleshy hole. It was as tight as when you shove your hand into a cow to help it pass poop. 

Will moaned like a bitch in heat as Hannibal shoved his beef bayonet in and out of Will's poop chute.  
Will writhed under Hannibal. 

Hannibal watched will in wonder and said "You remind me of my mother."

"Wha-?" Will got out breathlessly.

Hannibal shook his head "Sorry, I was channelling Freud there." He muttered.

I better start channelling my inner cannibal or this is gonna get weird he thought.  
Hannibal grabbed the marinade and poured it all over Will. Will sputtered as it got everywhere. But was soon moaning again as Hannibal licked the marinade from his body. Hannibal could feel Will starting to clench around him, indicating he was getting close so Hannibal leaned over and kissed along his jaw to his ear, sucking lightly causing Will to shudder.

He continued this for a moment and then he bit down taking Wills ear clean off.  
Will screamed and came all over himself. Hannibal relished the taste of flesh and came deep inside Wills fun hole.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it fantastic. I hope it gave you a good laugh. If you want something equally ridiculous then check out my other story about Will and Hannibal being snails. Oh and if you have any really funny names for penises let me know, I need to compile a list. For science... C:


End file.
